Sad

Sad: "1. Losin' End - Michael McDonald"

This is so kewl!

What guy doesn't love watching building implosions (I have a two-DVD set filled with 'em), demolition derbys, or anything where something is demolished? That's why I almost wet myself when I found this: Watch It Shred! Enjoy!

- Jaydog

Tomorrow never comes...

A special thanks to my boss (aka "Choker") for the memorable quote used to begin this posting.

The quote was inspired by my e-mailed response to his query regarding when the forecast for this month's numbers would be ready. Since they've always been published on Tuesday for the past 4 or 5 years, I politely responded "Tomorrow". He wistfully e-mailed me back, tears in his eyes as he typed it, no doubt, "Tomorrow never comes...". Oh, my! I'm gonna need a second to compose myself....

Okay, that didn't take long.

As I gleefully announced earlier, my home PC is back among the living, albeit minus everything that was stored on it prior to May 8th. I'd like to thank the following for their support, or lack thereof:

• HP Tech Suport - particularly "Eric" whose command of the English language made what should have been a 15-minute call turn into 2+ hours of living hell.
• And to the SECOND HP Tech Support person, name unintelligible, who drove me to pop two Vicodin after ending our call.
• HP Customer Service - for their reassurance by telling me it's normal for the hard drive to crash within the first year. "We expect it...", she chirpped.
• HP Customer Service (again) - for sending me to CompUsa where I was told that "we don't honor HP warranties".
• HP Customer Service - (yet again) for relieving my bank account of $75 for an extended warranty, without telling me it wouldn't cover any repairs for the first 30 days after purchasing it.
• CompUsa - for trying to make my shopping experience so pleasant by encouraging me to order online for in-store pickup, and then putting a moron in charge of handling the transaction when I went in to pick up my purchases. Twenty minutes to ring up a two-item sale? Come on!
• CompUsa (Again) - to Bill, the customer service moron, who not only wasted 20 minutes of my lunch hour to ring up the sale, but also rang it up incorrectly.
• CompUsa (yet again) - to Mike, Bill's equally brain-dead manager, who assured me it would be okay to just go ahead and leave. He would take care of issuing a credit to my credit card to compensate for Bill's stupidity. It's now five days later and there's still no credit to my account. That means another trip back to CompUsa. Maybe I should call in sick so I can spend the WHOLE day there.

In SPITE of all of you, my PC is repaired....by ME! Nya, Nya, Nya!

Tomorrow never comes.....MY ASS!

What we need right now is a kitten war!

-Jaydog

YUMMMMM!

What a way to start the day! A cinnamon roll from Johnson's Corner! Thanks, Di! Will you marry me?

-Jaydog

David Letterman’s Top Ten Things Overheard During The Michael Jackson Verdict

10. “We the jury find the defendant not guilty—oh God, did I say the wrong one?
9. “Of course he’s nervous—look how pale he is!”
8. “Will Mr. Blake and Mr. Simpson please keep the laughter down?”
7. “No, I think he’ll do fine in prison!”
6. “I’m a celebrity in an L.A. courtroom—I like my chances.”
5. “Do you think this will be on the news tonight?”
4. “We the jury find the defendant creepy.”
3. “Michael, good news—I just saved 15 percent on my car insurance by switching to Geico.”
2. “Wait, have Tito, Latoya and Jermaine always been on the jury?”
1. “Another case of a white guy getting preferential treatment.”

It's the weekend!

Okay, it's Saturday night, and the weekend is half over, but why not make the best of it? Tom has recovered from his Friday night celebratory hangover, I think. Chris is nowhere to be found. Paul is working the night shift seven days straight. Joe is undoubtedly corraling his little nephews right now! So here I am, bored. Why not stir up some trouble and have a little fun?

Any of you who have followed my rantings or viewed my moblog have a pretty good idea of my political leanings. But just in case it hasn't sunk in completely, take a look at this, and all will be made clear.

Awwww..... Don't be angry with me. WHACK!

If you have Republican leanings, perhaps this will pacify you, satisfy your inherent sadistic nature, and put a smile on your face.

And finally, for my fellow ADD denizens, check this out! Just follow the instructions, and if you're like me, you'll be transfixed for hours! LOL

And a parting thought for all of you...

Don't go for looks, they can deceive
Don't go for wealth, even that fades away
Go for someone who makes you smile
Because it only takes a smile to make a dark day seem bright
Find the one who makes your heart smile.

- Jaydog

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOM! YES, YOU ARE GETTING OLDER. AND THE PACE AT WHICH YOU AGE IS INCREASING. WATCH IT, PAL! SLOW DOWN A LITTLE. RELAX YOUR GRIP ......................................................... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOM! YES, YOU ARE GETTING OLDER. AND THE PACE AT WHICH YOU AGE IS INCREASING. WATCH IT, PAL! SLOW DOWN A LITTLE. RELAX YOUR GRIP........................

The mind is so strange....

When I was in 7th grade I think, the ogre, Miss Earhardt, assigned a poem to everyone in my American Lit class to memorize and recite in front of the class. All of this time later, I still remember mine. Perhaps it's because it has so much meaning to me. Who'd have thought?

The Road Not Taken

Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

- Jaydog

Great start to the week...

Well, I'm wide awake now! As I write this it's 1:20 a.m. I certainly had no intention of being awake at this hour, but circumstances have made that decision for me.

Went to bed shortly after midnight, and had just begun to doze off when I was jolted upright by the sound of someone trying to open my front door. The noise was loud enough that it had traveled through the living room, down the hall, and through my closed bedroom door. Not to mention the sleep-induced fog in my brain. That's pretty loud.

I turned on the bedside lamp and went out into the living room to the front door. By now whoever was on the other side was turning the door knob and pushing hard against the door. I peered through the peephole, and sure enough...there's a guy out there alone, muttering drunkenly, ramming his shoulder against my door.

At first I thought about opening the door and confronting him. Two things stopped me. First I was wearing what I normally wear to bed: nothing. Of course had I opened the door that way it might have been enough to scare him off. Second, you never know what you might come up against when you confront someone who is obviously trashed. Could he turn violent? Does he have a gun? Not worth the chance.

I shouted through the door that I was going to call the police, but he didn't seem to hear that. So I pounded loudly on my side of the door with my fists to get his attention, and then repeated myself. That seemed to get his attention, but didn't sink in, apparently. He renewed his efforts to get the door open.

By now I'd had enough, so walked over to get the phone off the charger. At about that time, the noise stopped, and I heard stumbling footsteps going down the stairs. I'm not sure if he made it all the way down or fell and broke his neck. I guess I'll find out in the morning if I have to step over a cold, lifeless body.

Meanwhile, I'm WIDE awake now. Thanks alot, PAL!

- Jaydog

A Dismal Day...

It's a rainy, cold day here in Denver. Not unusual for June (June...rhymes with monsoon). And that certainly doesn't help the gray mood I'm in.

The day started off badly enough. I hopped online, connected to my company's servers through VPN with the hope of running a report. My company e-mail was horked, as was the server I pull raw data from. Hence, no report running for me.

Then I chatted online briefly with my friend Tom. Darker shade of gray.

Thinking I had an 11:00 appointment to get my hair cut, I took a quick shower and rushed to get there on time. Deb always frowns at me when I show up late. Still arrive at 11:06 due to the slow traffic caused by the downpour going on. Don't have an umbrella with me, so I arrive looking like a drowned rat. The receptionist at the front desk smiles at me and says "You don't have an appointment today!". Deb comes out, says maybe it's next Saturday. Nope, nothing scheduled there, either. So, I can wait 45 minutes, or schedule an appointment for next Saturday. Ooops, sorry.....they no longer accept appointments on Saturday.

My original plan had been to get my hair cut, then go downtown to the People's Fair on Capitol Hill. Always a great place to people watch, have some great food and drink, and listen to some fantastic music. Ah, but the rain, remember? Nix that idea. After yesterday's storm of biblical proportions, not taking that chance.

So, instead head over to Sam's for some breakfast. The place is packed, but manage to grab a spot at the counter and order some (yes, Joe) french toast and coffee while I scan the morning Rocky.

So now here I am at home, bored. No where to go. Nothing to do. Or is there? Hmmm...

-Jaydog

Mom's Emails

My Mom loves email. Since getting her first PC a few years ago, and discovering email, she's turned into a fanatic. She has a list of like-minded friends who send her endless streams of jokes and useless drivel. She prints all of this out so she can show them to my Dad (he, wisely, won't go near her PC). For a time, she also thought it was her maternal duty to forward all of these on to my brothers and me. After much pleading with her, the flow was finally reduced to a trickle, although she occasionally needs reminding that I don't want all of this crap in my inbox, and that I delete the vast majority of it without reading it. So now it is a rare occasion that I receive a forwarded email from her. When she does send something on, most of the time it really is worth looking at.

Such was the case with this one. Hope you enjoy it and its meaning as much as I did. Thanks Mom!

Oh yeah!

Doing my happy dance! Not only is today Friday, but Erica paid me for the FM modulator I picked up for her a couple of weeks ago! So I have money! The first round of drinks is on me!

- Jaydog