Well, in spite of the best intentions, I've fallen behind in keeping this thing up to date. My sincere apologies to the few, demented souls who actually look forward to reading this on a regular basis.
First, the much-anticipated and bally-hooed slumber party, aka as the sleep study, took place last Saturday. Having nothing better to do, I checked myself into the sleep clinic at 9:30 p.m. on a Saturday night. A few minutes later I was shown to my room, a faithful re-creation of a swanky Motel 6, and was given some paperwork to complete. A few minutes later, my sleep clinician, Vicki, came to my room. Vicki was a very pleasant, friendly, 36 year-old who, miraculously, got most of my warped jokes and was able to put me at ease almost immediately. She directed me to change into whatever I'd brought with me to sleep in that night, and of course I chose not to tell her that what I usually sleep in can't be packed in an overnight bag! I'd brought some sleep shorts and a T-shirt with me, so changed into that and then let Vicki know I was ready for my transformation into a cyborg. She directed me to sit in a chair in the center of the room, and then began wiring my body. In all, more than thirty electrodes were glued or taped to various parts of my body....my scalp, chest, back, and legs. Bands were placed around my chest and waist, and another pronged device was fitted on my upper lip, the prongs extended into my nostrils. Finally, a sensor was taped to my left index finger that would measure the oxygen level in my blood. The whole process took about 35-40 minutes, but seemed to go quickly as Vicki and I chatted and laughed. Once I was fully mechanized, I was gingerly led to the double bed in the room, wires trailing behind me, and told to lay down on my back. Vicki then began connecting all of the wires to a junction box next to the bed. After testing all of the connections, and explaining the locations of the video camera (yeah, I was taped during the night, too, but don't bother looking for THAT on ebay) and the microphone, Vicki wished me a good night's sleep, turned off the lights, and left, closing the door behind her.
I started out sleeping on my side. I'd been told it was okay for me to move around in order to get into a comfortable sleep position, and that's how I usually fall asleep...on my right side. Try as I might, however, I was unable to fall asleep quickly. I guess it took me about 90 or minutes or so to finally drift off. However, apparently a couple of the electrodes on my scalp became dislodged, so Vicki re-entered the room, woke me up and reattached the errant probes. I remember waking up a couple of times during the night, not an unusual occurence for me. The next thing I remember was Vicki waking me up around 5:15 a.m., telling me the study was over, and it was check out time. Okay, even Motel 6 lets you stay until noon.
Once again, I was directed to sit in a chair in the middle of the room, and the electrode removal began. Most of them came off with no discomfort, but the ones that had been taped with adhesive tape to my chest and legs proved to be a little more eye-opening, leaving me WIDE awake! While doing this, Vicki gave me a brief overview of what she'd observed. Apparently, I'd rolled onto my back during the night, and, as I could have told them (and quite a few people could have confirmed), I stopped breathing at least twice in my sleep. Sleep apnea? Duh. You think?
Then I was left alone in my room to get dressed and check out of my luxury suite. The next step, according to Vicki, is for the doctors at the clinic to analyze and summarize the data (about 720 pages worth) and send the results to my doctor. Vicki indicated that from what she observed, it was likely I would be back in a few weeks for a follow-up study. Oh, boy! I stepped through the doors of the clinic around 6 a.m. into thick fog and snow, stopped at the store to pick up something for breakfast, and came home. Three shampoos in the shower finally got most of the glue out of my hair, and I went to bed with the Sunday Post and then slept until noon. I have no idea whether I kept breathing or not, except that I'm here now, and that is all that matters.
The cost for this mini-vacation? $2,500. Fortunately, my insurance covers 100 percent.
So that's that.
Another big event was my brother's wedding on Saturday. This is his third trip down the aisle. Once again, no one from our family knew about the wedding until after it had taken place, so obviously, we weren't invited. Unlike the first two, however, my family was unanimously against this marriage, for reasons too many to list here. While I certainly wish him and his new bride and her two children and one on the way (no, she's not sure who the daddy is) the best, I feel quite certain that this marriage is as doomed as his previous two. I'm not being cynical, just realistic. Call your bookie for the odds on this one, but I can give you some inside info to improve your chances of winning.
I finally resumed my workouts after about two weeks away from the gym due to the cold virus that had been making the rounds at the office. I've probably pushed myself a little too hard during the past week....proof once again that testosterone and weights do not go well together. Makes the time I spend in the whirlpool and steam room after my workout even more welcome. Fortunately, for me at least, my trainer is also out with the same virus, so my session with him last night had to be postponed for a week. That's probably a good thing because he probably would have ground my ass into the ground, and I'd be even sorer than I am now. At least now I can be a little better prepared.
Okay, that's probably enough for this update. Naturally, there's a lot more going on in my life than this, but I decided to leave all of the depressing stuff out. I'm doing well, though. I'm still optomistic about the new year, and will hold onto that until I'm proven wrong. Thanks to my friends (the REAL ones) who have stood by me and listened to me and encouraged me over the past month or so. I love you and appreciate you more than you will ever know.
Jaydog
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