Woman Calls for Help from Wireless Phone
A West Virginia woman called for help on her wireless phone when a camel sat on top of her while she was painting a fence. Firefighters and the camel's owner helped move the animal off the woman who was having trouble breathing.
(Source: Alert Jaydoggie readier (Di) and Associated Press)
Friday, May 20, 2005
It's Friday!
Finally! Some weeks seem longer than others, and this has been one of those weeks. In spite of my joy at reaching this weekly milestone, I'm still tempted to follow the example of my young friend Joe and call in "sick" today. But experience has taught me something. Namely that no time away from the office goes unpunished. Going on vacation next week will once again prove that point.
Please sir, may I have another!
WHACK!
I vow that today, before I leave the house, I will check the fly on my jeans at least twice.
Today is also "Growler Refill Day". Don't expect too much coherent thought later.
- Jaydog
Finally! Some weeks seem longer than others, and this has been one of those weeks. In spite of my joy at reaching this weekly milestone, I'm still tempted to follow the example of my young friend Joe and call in "sick" today. But experience has taught me something. Namely that no time away from the office goes unpunished. Going on vacation next week will once again prove that point.
Please sir, may I have another!
WHACK!
I vow that today, before I leave the house, I will check the fly on my jeans at least twice.
Today is also "Growler Refill Day". Don't expect too much coherent thought later.
- Jaydog
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
I'm dancing as fast as I can...
No
No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth.
No, I have not been abducted by aliens and probed.
No, I have not been incarcertated and become someone's "wife".
No, I have not been rubbed out by a mob hit man.
No. No. NO!
The world has just been spinning too fast lately, and I've been hanging on for my life. But I dragged my feet against the surface of the universe and managed to slow it down just a bit. So here I am, no worse for the wear, with lots to say.
Embarrassment
At 2:05 p.m. on Friday, the lovely and talented Erica approached me in the hall outside the boss's office, looked down at my crotch, pointed and cleared her throat. Under most circumstances, I might have taken that as a compliment. In this case, however, something inside me told me that was not the case. My eyes drifted down to where she pointed, and sure enough....the fly on my jeans was open. Knowing that I had done nothing so far that day to warrant it being in that condition, I came to the quick conclusion that it had been down all day. A quick thought flashed through my head....Thank God I wasn't going commando that day, as I often do when wearing jeans on a Friday. This type of thing seems to be happening with increasing frequency. Not every day, I assure you. But often enough that I'm beginning to think that one of two things is going to happen: either I'm going to be straight-jacketed and carted off to a nice residential facility with steel mesh on the windows and heavy padding on the walls, or my name and picture will end up on one of those registered sex offender websites that has become my mother's favorite pastime. Either way, I don't forsee a happy ending.
Rage at the machine
As you've already read in my previous post, my PC crashed last weekend. Hours spent on the phone with non-English speaking technical support people has proven fruitless. After checking online for a list of H-P authorized service centers, I chose to take it to CompUSA for repair. The stereotypical computer geek finally appeared at the counter to assist me. After poking and prodding at the PC for quite some time, he confirmed what I suspected: that he had no idea what the problem was, but offered to charge me $99 to find out. I explained that I had an extended warranty through H-P that should cover the repairs. He replied..."Oh, we don't honor those". This from an authorized H-P service center, may I remind you. He also made a point of telling me that for $140 he could back up the data on my hard drive, with the following exceptions: no music files, no video files, and no software. Those three items make up probably 75% of what is on my hard drive. Thanks, geek. But no thanks. I load my PC back under my arm and leave. Later in the day I call H-P customer service to see what they suggest. Amazingly I get a pleasant sounding woman who speaks fluent English. I can understand every word she's saying. By the end of the conversation I'm wishing I'd been transferred to "Eric" in New Dehli. She first informs me that the extended warranty I'd purchased is not valid for hardware repairs for thirty days. I find it amusing that I wasn't told that when I purchased it. I described the problem I'd been having with the PC, and she cheerfully told me that yes, that sure sounded like a hard drive gone bad. When I commented that I found it disturbing that the hard drive on a 13-month old computer would blow, she said something that I still can't believe. "Sir, it's quite normal for a hard drive to crash within a year's time". WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? I thank her for being so helpful and hang up the phone.
My options at this point are:
No
No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth.
No, I have not been abducted by aliens and probed.
No, I have not been incarcertated and become someone's "wife".
No, I have not been rubbed out by a mob hit man.
No. No. NO!
The world has just been spinning too fast lately, and I've been hanging on for my life. But I dragged my feet against the surface of the universe and managed to slow it down just a bit. So here I am, no worse for the wear, with lots to say.
Embarrassment
At 2:05 p.m. on Friday, the lovely and talented Erica approached me in the hall outside the boss's office, looked down at my crotch, pointed and cleared her throat. Under most circumstances, I might have taken that as a compliment. In this case, however, something inside me told me that was not the case. My eyes drifted down to where she pointed, and sure enough....the fly on my jeans was open. Knowing that I had done nothing so far that day to warrant it being in that condition, I came to the quick conclusion that it had been down all day. A quick thought flashed through my head....Thank God I wasn't going commando that day, as I often do when wearing jeans on a Friday. This type of thing seems to be happening with increasing frequency. Not every day, I assure you. But often enough that I'm beginning to think that one of two things is going to happen: either I'm going to be straight-jacketed and carted off to a nice residential facility with steel mesh on the windows and heavy padding on the walls, or my name and picture will end up on one of those registered sex offender websites that has become my mother's favorite pastime. Either way, I don't forsee a happy ending.
Rage at the machine
As you've already read in my previous post, my PC crashed last weekend. Hours spent on the phone with non-English speaking technical support people has proven fruitless. After checking online for a list of H-P authorized service centers, I chose to take it to CompUSA for repair. The stereotypical computer geek finally appeared at the counter to assist me. After poking and prodding at the PC for quite some time, he confirmed what I suspected: that he had no idea what the problem was, but offered to charge me $99 to find out. I explained that I had an extended warranty through H-P that should cover the repairs. He replied..."Oh, we don't honor those". This from an authorized H-P service center, may I remind you. He also made a point of telling me that for $140 he could back up the data on my hard drive, with the following exceptions: no music files, no video files, and no software. Those three items make up probably 75% of what is on my hard drive. Thanks, geek. But no thanks. I load my PC back under my arm and leave. Later in the day I call H-P customer service to see what they suggest. Amazingly I get a pleasant sounding woman who speaks fluent English. I can understand every word she's saying. By the end of the conversation I'm wishing I'd been transferred to "Eric" in New Dehli. She first informs me that the extended warranty I'd purchased is not valid for hardware repairs for thirty days. I find it amusing that I wasn't told that when I purchased it. I described the problem I'd been having with the PC, and she cheerfully told me that yes, that sure sounded like a hard drive gone bad. When I commented that I found it disturbing that the hard drive on a 13-month old computer would blow, she said something that I still can't believe. "Sir, it's quite normal for a hard drive to crash within a year's time". WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? I thank her for being so helpful and hang up the phone.
My options at this point are:
- Wait thirty days and make the bastards repair my PC.
- Go shopping for a new PC, and heave my old one off my balcony into the parking lot below.
- Go shopping for a new PC, but still wait the thirty days and make the bastards repair my PC.
The third option is sounding better the more I think about it. I'd have a brand new PC to use for the next year until the hard drive blows. And I'd have my repaired PC to put in another room of my apartment. I still don't have a computer to use in the bathroom, you know.
I'm open to suggestions on a reliable brand of PC. Obviously, anyone who suggests another HP computer will be beaten severely. The same goes for Compaq, Gateway, e machines, or any Kmart brand. Leave your suggestions in the comments for this post.
Congratulations
Congratulations to my friend Eli on his graduation from college and his impending entry into the ranks of the gainfully employed. Eli, I know you have doubts about your future...how you're going to fit in to the corporate environment and handle living in a strange city. Trust me on this, buddy. You're stonger than you realize. You can endure anything, accomplish anything, create anything...all because you have an incredible inner strength. And you have people behind you, all wishing you happiness and success. Got it?
Affirmation
Apparently my reputation for caring about my friends has begun to spread. I believe this because the number of e-mails I receive every week asking for my help seems to be growing. Here's an example:
HELLO JAYDOGGIE,
FIRST AND FOREMOST,I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION AND I PRAY THAT MY DECISION TO CONTACT YOU WILL BE GIVEN GENUINE APPROVAL CONSIDERING THE FACTS WE HAVE NOT KNOWN EACH OTHER BEFORE, I WISH TO USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TOI NTRODUCE MYSELF TO YOU.I AM BAIDEN FRIPONG EYADEMA, THE SON TO THE LATE PRESIDENT OF TOGO WHO DIED ON THE 5TH OF FEBRUARY 2005, IN WEST AFRICA I WRITES TO INFORM YOU MY DESIRE TO INVEST, AND TO BUY A LIVING HOUSE IN YOUR COUNTRY. I AM THE SECOND SON OF THE LATE PRESIDENT OF TOGO MR. GNASSINGBE EYADEMA. HE WAS THE PRESIDENT OF MY COUNTRY FOR 38 YEARS, BUT I NEVER LIKE HIS MISRULE, THUS CREATING THE POLITICAL CRISIS THERE NOW. BEFORE HE DIED HE REAVEALED TO ME ABOUT THE BOXES CONTAINING $25.5 MILLION US DOLLARS. WHICH HE DEPOSITED WITH A SECURITY COMPANY IN GHANA FOR SAFEKEEPING. MY FATHER DID NOT DISCLOSE THE CONTENT OF THE BOXES TO THE SECURITY COMPANY. TO AVIOD THE OFFICIALS FROM RAISING EYE BROWS TO THE FUNDS. PRESENTLY MYSELF IS HERE IN GHANA TO NOTIFY THE SECURITY COMPANY FOR THE CLAIMS, AND I AM STAYING IN THE REFUGEE CAMP.THEREFORE I WANT YOU TO LECTURE ME ON HOW BEST I CAN INVEST THIS MONEY,BECAUSE MY FATHER TOLD ME THAT IT IS DANGEROUS TO INVEST THIS MONEY IN AFRICA TO AVIOD SUSPICIONS, AND DUE TO MARKET INSTABILITY COUPLED WITH ECONOMIC AND POLITICAL INSTABILITY FACING AFRICAN COUNTRIES,THAT IS WHY I WANT TO INVEST IN ABROAD. FOR YOUR MUTUAL ASSISTANCE, MYSELF HAVE AGREED TO OFFER YOU 25%OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF THE MONEY. WE HAVE ALL THE VITAL DOCUMENTS COVERING THE DEPOSIT AND THE OWNERSHIP WHICH I CAN SEND TO YOU THROUGH FAX ON REQUEST. NOTE: I HAVE NEVER DISCLOSED THIS TO ANY PERSON APART FROM YOU, SO YOU HAVE TO KEEP THIS TRANSACTION AS A TOP SECRET TO YOURSELF ALONE. WHICH I WILL WANT YOU TO FORWARD ACROSS TO ME YOUR DIRECT TEL/FAX NUMBER FOR MORE INFORMATIONS ABOUT THIS TRANSACTION.PLEASE DO CONTACT ME ON MY ALTERNATIVE EMAIL ADDRESS: (omitted)
MY ELDER BROTHER FAURE EYADEMA HAS JUST WON AN ELECTION TO REPLACE MY LATE FATHER IN TOGO AS THE PRESIDENT. BUT I DON'T LIKE HIM BECAUSE HE IS DEMONIC WITH HIS POLICY. HIM AND MY LATE FATHER MADE TOO MUCH TOGOLESE TO SUFFERED IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY. THEREFORE, I HAVE DECIDED TO GO ON MY OWN WAY AND NOT TO SEEK POLITICAL OFFICE.
- BAIDEN EYADEMA
Sorry Baiden, baby. You sound like a really swell guy and all. And I'd LOVE to help you out. The money isn't that important to me, you know. But at the present time I'm a little busy helping out other people who have sent me e-mails asking for my help to transfer large sums of money, including:
- Dr. Mrs. Catherine Klein, a manager at citi bank in London, who needs my help by becoming the sole heir to a $17.6 million estate of a late oil baron so that she can transfer the money out of the country before it falls into the hands of corrupt government officials. Of course I also have to promise that I'll use 5 percent of the total funds to set up a charitable organization in America. I'm working on it Cathy!
- I'm also working with FRANK KHUMALO, the elder son of Mr. Daniel Khumalo from the republic of Zimbabwe, to get $15 million out of South Africa and into my personal checking account here in the U.S.
So you see, Baiden? I've really got my hands full right now. As much as I want to help, I'm just really busy. In addition, I don't want to appear greedy. In the meantime, why don't you give me a call on my special private line that I've set up for friends like you: (212) 479-7990. I can't wait to hear from you, Baiden! Feel free to share my number with other friends who might need my help, too!
- Jaydog
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Catastrophe Strikes
For anyone who hasn't heard already, the worst of all possible scenarios unfolded on Sunday. My home PC crashed. Might as well have amputated my right arm or something. AAAAGGGGHHHH! At this point, in spite of the hours spent on the phone with HP technical support (that's another story for another time) I'm unsure at this point when I'll be back to anything resembling normalcy.
In the meantime, my online activities are severely limited. That includes updates to my blog, e-mails, IM chats, and Jaydoggie Radio (off the air). I'm hoping to have a functioning PC within the next couple of weeks, but in the meantime, don't despair. I'm still around. Just temporarily invisible.
-Jaydog
In the meantime, my online activities are severely limited. That includes updates to my blog, e-mails, IM chats, and Jaydoggie Radio (off the air). I'm hoping to have a functioning PC within the next couple of weeks, but in the meantime, don't despair. I'm still around. Just temporarily invisible.
-Jaydog
Thursday, May 05, 2005
DUCK!
I'm in one of those smart-ass moods today. Go figure! But rather than unleash a torrent of caustic humor, why not a few real laughs?
CARDS YOU'LL NEVER SEE IN HALLMARK
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:.........
What was I thinking?"
"Congratulations on your wedding day!.............
Too bad no one likes your wife."
"How could two people as beautiful you............
have such an ugly baby?"
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.........
After having met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought religion in my life...........
I never believed in Hell until I met you."
"As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me.
Like the need for therapy..."
"You look great for your age....... Almost Lifelike!"
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.........
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...............
Did you ever find out who the father was?"
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday--------- So we're having you put to sleep."
But on a serious note....
CARDS YOU'LL NEVER SEE IN HALLMARK
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:.........
What was I thinking?"
"Congratulations on your wedding day!.............
Too bad no one likes your wife."
"How could two people as beautiful you............
have such an ugly baby?"
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.........
After having met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought religion in my life...........
I never believed in Hell until I met you."
"As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me.
Like the need for therapy..."
"You look great for your age....... Almost Lifelike!"
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.........
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...............
Did you ever find out who the father was?"
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday--------- So we're having you put to sleep."
=====================================================
But on a serious note....
For my friend Joe...
(IAHFYB)
It's strange here without you
And it's so hard to see
So brother up in heaven
Please wait up for me
+
I still see his shadow
His laugh lingers on
When I dream, we're all back together
When I wake, he's gone
+
It's strange here without you
This was not ment to be
So brother up in heaven
Please wait up for me
+
And though we try to change the world
A flower when it's cut will surely die
So why do men with so much hate
Destroy what they cannot create
While we all stand by
+
We will look back in anger
But you helped us to see
So brother up in heaven
Please wait up for me
Oh brother up in heaven
Please wait up for me
(Brother Up In Heaven - Ian Bairnson)
Just what I need today...
A Stress Pig. Ahhhh.....I feel so much better now! Click on the pig yourself and see if you don't feel better, too!
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
What I'm Listening To Tonight On Rhapsody...
1. It's Over - Alison Krauss
2. The One That Got Away - Tom Waits
3. I Fall To Pieces - Patsy Cline
4. Losin' End - Michael McDonald
5. You Don't Have To Say You Love Me - Dusty Springfield
6. Our Winter Love - The Lettermen
7. Somebody's Crying - Chris Isaak
8. Hit The Road, Jack - McCaslin & Ringer
9. Crying - Roy Orbison with K.D. Lang
10. How Can You Mend A Broken Heart - The Bee Gees
11. Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yesterday - Stevie Wonder
12. For Once In My Life - Stevie Wonder
13. For The Good Times - Ray Price
14. Hurt So Bad - The Lettermen
15. I'll Make Love To You - Boyz II Men
16. Cry, Cry, Cry - Highway 101
17. I'm Not In Love - 10CC
18. Wasted On The Way - Crosby, Stills, & Nash
19. Cry, Cry, Cry - Highway 101
20. You're Only Lonely - J.D. Souther
21. Best Thing That Ever Happened - Jim Weatherly
22. Neither One of Us - Gladys Knight
23. Summer Breeze - Seals & Crofts
24. Baby Come Back - Player
25. I'm So Chubby - Kelly Clarkson
2. The One That Got Away - Tom Waits
3. I Fall To Pieces - Patsy Cline
4. Losin' End - Michael McDonald
5. You Don't Have To Say You Love Me - Dusty Springfield
6. Our Winter Love - The Lettermen
7. Somebody's Crying - Chris Isaak
8. Hit The Road, Jack - McCaslin & Ringer
9. Crying - Roy Orbison with K.D. Lang
10. How Can You Mend A Broken Heart - The Bee Gees
11. Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yesterday - Stevie Wonder
12. For Once In My Life - Stevie Wonder
13. For The Good Times - Ray Price
14. Hurt So Bad - The Lettermen
15. I'll Make Love To You - Boyz II Men
16. Cry, Cry, Cry - Highway 101
17. I'm Not In Love - 10CC
18. Wasted On The Way - Crosby, Stills, & Nash
19. Cry, Cry, Cry - Highway 101
20. You're Only Lonely - J.D. Souther
21. Best Thing That Ever Happened - Jim Weatherly
22. Neither One of Us - Gladys Knight
23. Summer Breeze - Seals & Crofts
24. Baby Come Back - Player
25. I'm So Chubby - Kelly Clarkson
Monday, May 02, 2005
Another Monday...another day in hell
Monday. What is it about Monday that sends a chill down my spine? In actuality, perhaps it was not just the fact that it was Monday today, but that it actually felt like winter here today. Near freezing temperature this morning, grey skies, winter coat. Not the kind of picture the Colorado tourism board puts in the brochure. And it's May. Ah, but we must suffer, mustn't we?
The day continued to spiral downhill when I went by the office at my apartment complex to sign away my life for another six months (new lease). Not only did the rent increase, but also the lease I signed was incorrect, so it had to be re-done and signed again. That one turned out to be incorrect as well, so a THIRD lease was prepared for my signature. I finally straggle into the office, already frazzled, only to find that someone had crashed a database over the weekend, making it inaccessible and unusable. I'm STILL trying to untangle that mess. Add to that the fact that everyone around me, my cow-orkers, otherwise known as "The Spazzos", seemed to be in a ferret-like mood today.
It's 5:30 p.m. here, and I'm alone at the office now. The day is finally drawing to a close. I'm preparing to head over to the gym for a couple of hours to beat my body into submission. I'll follow that by lolling around in the whirlpool and cook myself into goo in the steam room. Perhaps that will provide some much-needed relief.
In the meantime. another momentous occasion passed without proper acknowledgement. If you look at the site counter at the bottom of this page, you'll see that it has passed the 1,000 mark unnoticed. Will wonders never cease? As I've said before, when I began this little project, I believed only a small contingent of deranged minds would consider it interesting enough to read. I was proven right. Thanks, everyone, for reading. I love each and every one of you. Now seek professional help!
-Jaydog
The day continued to spiral downhill when I went by the office at my apartment complex to sign away my life for another six months (new lease). Not only did the rent increase, but also the lease I signed was incorrect, so it had to be re-done and signed again. That one turned out to be incorrect as well, so a THIRD lease was prepared for my signature. I finally straggle into the office, already frazzled, only to find that someone had crashed a database over the weekend, making it inaccessible and unusable. I'm STILL trying to untangle that mess. Add to that the fact that everyone around me, my cow-orkers, otherwise known as "The Spazzos", seemed to be in a ferret-like mood today.
It's 5:30 p.m. here, and I'm alone at the office now. The day is finally drawing to a close. I'm preparing to head over to the gym for a couple of hours to beat my body into submission. I'll follow that by lolling around in the whirlpool and cook myself into goo in the steam room. Perhaps that will provide some much-needed relief.
In the meantime. another momentous occasion passed without proper acknowledgement. If you look at the site counter at the bottom of this page, you'll see that it has passed the 1,000 mark unnoticed. Will wonders never cease? As I've said before, when I began this little project, I believed only a small contingent of deranged minds would consider it interesting enough to read. I was proven right. Thanks, everyone, for reading. I love each and every one of you. Now seek professional help!
-Jaydog
Friday, April 29, 2005
It's baaaack.....
Winter, that is.
One thing you learn about living in Colorado is that the borders between the seasons tend to be a little fuzzy. Such is the case this morning as I gaze out my window. Snow, below freezing temperatures. At the beginning of the week it was shirtsleeves and sunglasses. Today it will be winter coat, gloves and boots.
Ah, the joy of it!
A "cool" start to the day.
A lovely view from the mountains just west of the city.
A chilling morning view of downtown Denver.
One thing you learn about living in Colorado is that the borders between the seasons tend to be a little fuzzy. Such is the case this morning as I gaze out my window. Snow, below freezing temperatures. At the beginning of the week it was shirtsleeves and sunglasses. Today it will be winter coat, gloves and boots.
Ah, the joy of it!
A "cool" start to the day.
A lovely view from the mountains just west of the city.
A chilling morning view of downtown Denver.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Catching up...again
Well, it's that time of year again. My sinuses have turned on me and are now dripping like a leaky faucet. The bucket I've hung around my neck seems to be filling up pretty quickly today. I decided to sit the day out from work, although I did work for a couple of hours from home this morning. There's a certain joy that comes from working naked.
The weather around here is adding to the general misery. It's that unsettled time of year when Mother Nature can't decide whether it's winter or spring. So she dishes out a little of both. Rain, snow, rain mixed with snow. And then to throw us all off, she throws in beautiful, sunny days. According to the tourist info, Denver has 300 days of sunshine a year. The next few days will be part of the other 65, I guess.
On to more pressing news.
I've finally committed myself to making my annual trek to visit my parents back in Illinois next month. The air, hotel and car reservations have been made. Time off from work has been locked in. Chosing a time of year to go back is always an issue. Pick the wrong month and you WILL suffer! I've learned that I've become something of a wimp when it comes to heat and humidity. I simply cannot tolerate it. So ultimately it came down to either May or September. Not that either one is without it's share of physical misery. It's a matter of degree, and May seemed to be a good choice.
In the spirit of self-depreciation, it's time to tell the "Brownie Story". In order to maintain journalistic impartiality, Erica was supposed to tell this story, but hasn't. So you're going to get MY version, like it or not. Believe what you will.
I was invited to a staff meeting at work recently. Now I abhor staff meetings, and had, until recently, managed to extricate myself from them. But the boss insisted I be present for this one, and by dangling lunch under my nose, enticed me to hit "Accept" on the meeting request in Outlook. My aversion to these things can be summed up by the picture below.
So I got my brownie, and peace ruled once again in the kingdon.
The moral to this story? Don't f**k with my brownie!
A quick note about the radio station... A few of you have commented that you've not been able to link to it through Jetcast. You might want to try Shoutcast. I'm listed on there as well. Just type Jaydoggie into the search box, and if the station is broadcasting at the time, it should come up. Shoutcast also offeres a free version of Winamp if you don't have a player with streaming music capability. Good luck!
The weather around here is adding to the general misery. It's that unsettled time of year when Mother Nature can't decide whether it's winter or spring. So she dishes out a little of both. Rain, snow, rain mixed with snow. And then to throw us all off, she throws in beautiful, sunny days. According to the tourist info, Denver has 300 days of sunshine a year. The next few days will be part of the other 65, I guess.
On to more pressing news.
I've finally committed myself to making my annual trek to visit my parents back in Illinois next month. The air, hotel and car reservations have been made. Time off from work has been locked in. Chosing a time of year to go back is always an issue. Pick the wrong month and you WILL suffer! I've learned that I've become something of a wimp when it comes to heat and humidity. I simply cannot tolerate it. So ultimately it came down to either May or September. Not that either one is without it's share of physical misery. It's a matter of degree, and May seemed to be a good choice.
In the spirit of self-depreciation, it's time to tell the "Brownie Story". In order to maintain journalistic impartiality, Erica was supposed to tell this story, but hasn't. So you're going to get MY version, like it or not. Believe what you will.
I was invited to a staff meeting at work recently. Now I abhor staff meetings, and had, until recently, managed to extricate myself from them. But the boss insisted I be present for this one, and by dangling lunch under my nose, enticed me to hit "Accept" on the meeting request in Outlook. My aversion to these things can be summed up by the picture below.
So I got my brownie, and peace ruled once again in the kingdon.
The moral to this story? Don't f**k with my brownie!
A quick note about the radio station... A few of you have commented that you've not been able to link to it through Jetcast. You might want to try Shoutcast. I'm listed on there as well. Just type Jaydoggie into the search box, and if the station is broadcasting at the time, it should come up. Shoutcast also offeres a free version of Winamp if you don't have a player with streaming music capability. Good luck!
Okay, I think that about wraps things up for this installment.
One final note: Matt, you're still in my thoughts and prayers. IAHFYB.
-Jaydog
Monday, April 25, 2005
Jaydoggie is on the air!
After a lot of twisting and turning, and trial and error, my internet radio station is finally up and running. Depending on your level of pain tolerance, you're invited to give it a listen. The broadcast hours will be irregular, so if you don't find the station broadcasting, check back again another time.
What can you expect to hear? Just about anything. People who have experienced my musical tastes always walk away in something of a stupor. You might hear jazz, R&B, stories, pop, rock, easy listening, dance/trance, oldies, country, gospel, rap and other things that cannot be categorized.
By now you're screaming at the top of your lungs, "Tell me where I can find this marvel!". Right?
Well, I wish I could give you a permanent link to use, but the URL changes whenever I stop broadcasting, so that obviously won't work. But it's still relatively easy to find.
Go to the Jetcast Directory Listing. If the station is broadcasting, you'll see it listed as Jaydoggie Radio. Just click the LISTEN button, and it should open in Windows Media Player, or other MP3 player.
I'm tough enough to handle the acolades that will undoubtedly come flowing my way! Yeah, right! Drop me a note to let me know what you think.
Jaydog
What can you expect to hear? Just about anything. People who have experienced my musical tastes always walk away in something of a stupor. You might hear jazz, R&B, stories, pop, rock, easy listening, dance/trance, oldies, country, gospel, rap and other things that cannot be categorized.
By now you're screaming at the top of your lungs, "Tell me where I can find this marvel!". Right?
Well, I wish I could give you a permanent link to use, but the URL changes whenever I stop broadcasting, so that obviously won't work. But it's still relatively easy to find.
Go to the Jetcast Directory Listing. If the station is broadcasting, you'll see it listed as Jaydoggie Radio. Just click the LISTEN button, and it should open in Windows Media Player, or other MP3 player.
I'm tough enough to handle the acolades that will undoubtedly come flowing my way! Yeah, right! Drop me a note to let me know what you think.
Jaydog
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Too good to pass up...
George W. Bush Elected Pope ... Cardinals Stunned!
Reported by Monsignor Guido Sarducci, S.J., S.T.D., J.C.D.
The almost 120 Cardinals from around the world that gathered to choose a successor in the Vatican's Sistine Chapel were stunned and expressed amazement.
Cardinal Mohoney the Vatican spokesperson had this to say...
"We in the conclave are all shocked. We cast our vote's using these new electronic voting machines. The results overwhelmingly favored George W. Bush over all the Catholic candidates. The last Pope, John Paul, was a superb linguist, fluently speaking 11 languages, this one can't speak fluently in one language. We just don't know what to say."
The White House has announced that Dick Cheney will assume command as President of the world tomorrow morning, when "W' travels to Rome to begin his duties as Pope.
George W. Bush had this to say moments ago as he spoke from the Rose Garden:
"I am honored to be the spiritual lighthouse, and the first War Pope. I promise Evangelical Catho-licks and Prostates alike that I will be embodied in salvation and fair in the performance of my duties.
I am a Unitifier, not a Divide-a-cater. I am obliged to try to save as many lost souls as I can, at least the Devout Wealthy Elite Souls, as it is well known that Heaven is a very select place, indeed, it is more exclusive than even the best of country clubs. It is a members only Heaven. I may have to put a fence around it.
I will perform miracles in a fair and balanced manner. Just as God used to wipe out entire races of people without warning, burning whole towns of perverts, killing off entire nations, and drowning everybody without a ticket to board Noah's Ark, I shall deliver the world from Evil Empires as I unleash the Apocalypse Wrath of Revelations.
I will ensure the Rapture and the Reunion with our beloved deceased family members and with our departed purebred pets. I will not allow those awful Liberal Sissy Homosapiens to marry each other and I will put and end to the Clergy marrying Choirboys.
I will lead the Crusades against all them towel-headed heathens-possessed voodoo-hoodoo barbarians who's Pseudo-religions that don't accept the Lord as the Light of Democracy, and who worship fake, made-up gods.
They shall suffer my Godly Conservative Wrath and I will Destroy them with my Cherubic Armies of Angels and they shall burn for eternity in Hell, because Me and God don't take no prisoners!"
Reported by Monsignor Guido Sarducci, S.J., S.T.D., J.C.D.
The almost 120 Cardinals from around the world that gathered to choose a successor in the Vatican's Sistine Chapel were stunned and expressed amazement.
Cardinal Mohoney the Vatican spokesperson had this to say...
"We in the conclave are all shocked. We cast our vote's using these new electronic voting machines. The results overwhelmingly favored George W. Bush over all the Catholic candidates. The last Pope, John Paul, was a superb linguist, fluently speaking 11 languages, this one can't speak fluently in one language. We just don't know what to say."
The White House has announced that Dick Cheney will assume command as President of the world tomorrow morning, when "W' travels to Rome to begin his duties as Pope.
George W. Bush had this to say moments ago as he spoke from the Rose Garden:
"I am honored to be the spiritual lighthouse, and the first War Pope. I promise Evangelical Catho-licks and Prostates alike that I will be embodied in salvation and fair in the performance of my duties.
I am a Unitifier, not a Divide-a-cater. I am obliged to try to save as many lost souls as I can, at least the Devout Wealthy Elite Souls, as it is well known that Heaven is a very select place, indeed, it is more exclusive than even the best of country clubs. It is a members only Heaven. I may have to put a fence around it.
I will perform miracles in a fair and balanced manner. Just as God used to wipe out entire races of people without warning, burning whole towns of perverts, killing off entire nations, and drowning everybody without a ticket to board Noah's Ark, I shall deliver the world from Evil Empires as I unleash the Apocalypse Wrath of Revelations.
I will ensure the Rapture and the Reunion with our beloved deceased family members and with our departed purebred pets. I will not allow those awful Liberal Sissy Homosapiens to marry each other and I will put and end to the Clergy marrying Choirboys.
I will lead the Crusades against all them towel-headed heathens-possessed voodoo-hoodoo barbarians who's Pseudo-religions that don't accept the Lord as the Light of Democracy, and who worship fake, made-up gods.
They shall suffer my Godly Conservative Wrath and I will Destroy them with my Cherubic Armies of Angels and they shall burn for eternity in Hell, because Me and God don't take no prisoners!"
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Don't worry...I'll be back!
The weekend is generally when I take some time to post something new to keep you all coming back for more. Not this weekend, it seems. I was just too busy. Doing what, I'm not really sure, since I don't seem to have anything to show for it. Wait! I DO have a large bag of cinnamon rolls from Johnson's Corner! Yummmm! It was a beautiful April weekend here in Colorado, so a road trip was essential. Next weekend we could be under a foot of snow.
So don't fret, possums! I will try to post something interesting later this week. Meanwhile, keep checking back. As my brother is fond of saying, "Watch for the wind and wait...".
Jaydog
So don't fret, possums! I will try to post something interesting later this week. Meanwhile, keep checking back. As my brother is fond of saying, "Watch for the wind and wait...".
Jaydog
Saturday, April 09, 2005
A sadness descends...
Please forgive me if I don't launch into the usual rants you've come to expect.
A very dear friend of mine lost his father this past week. And, in spite of of everything I've done to fight it, I'm feeling a bit of his grief and loss.
Here's a short exerpt from the letter of condolence I wrote to Matt:
"Matt, even though I never met your Dad, I've gotten to know you in the past year, and in my mind that's a testimony to what kind of man he was. You are his legacy to the world, Matt - a warm, kind, generous and caring man. We are all poorer as a result of his passing."
Sadness
(Rhapsody Link)
Matt, my heart goes out to you and your family during this time of sadness. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
Jaydog
A very dear friend of mine lost his father this past week. And, in spite of of everything I've done to fight it, I'm feeling a bit of his grief and loss.
Here's a short exerpt from the letter of condolence I wrote to Matt:
"Matt, even though I never met your Dad, I've gotten to know you in the past year, and in my mind that's a testimony to what kind of man he was. You are his legacy to the world, Matt - a warm, kind, generous and caring man. We are all poorer as a result of his passing."
Sadness
(Rhapsody Link)
Matt, my heart goes out to you and your family during this time of sadness. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
Jaydog
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Today sucks!
So did yesterday, but that was because it was Monday. Today sucks because it's the day AFTER Monday. And because it's 38 degrees outside (wind chill 27), rain mixed with occasional snow, and wind gusts up to 40 mph. Perhaps Ab Lab this afternoon, and a good, sweaty workout, followed by 2 or 3 hours in the steam room...perhaps THAT will change my outlook.
Otherwise, I see a pattern developing here. My prediction is that the whole week may end up sucking. Let's just wait and see, shall we?
Jaydog
Otherwise, I see a pattern developing here. My prediction is that the whole week may end up sucking. Let's just wait and see, shall we?
Jaydog
Monday, April 04, 2005
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Doing the best I can...
It appears that, despite all of the good intentions, I'm only going to be posting to this thing about once a week. Sorry to disappoint all of my faithful readers, but my time appears to be getting stretched thinner with each passing week. Perhaps there will be calm at some point, but that will likely be the proverbial calm before the storm.
In the meantime, a milestone passed last weekend without my really even noticing it, much less acknowledging it. This little experiement you're reading right now surpassed 500 hits! To me, at least, that's pretty amazing when you consider that when I began this journey, I never imagined that anyone but me would ever read my rantings! Thanks, all of you, for taking the time to not only read all of this drivel, but to comment on what I've said, either on the blog, or through your emails and IM's.
Since I know many of my friends stop by to check up on what I write, I need to mention a few of them by name. It keeps them coming back!
First, two birthdays in the past week should be acknowledged. I do that only because I find it calming to know other people are aging besides just me! So to Chris and Joe....the best of birthday wishes go out to you!
On a more serious note, Matt, I just want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you right now. I know you're going through some real challenges. IABHFYB. And to everyone reading right now, just say a quick prayer for Matt and his family. The details are not needed. Just do it for me, okay?
Meanwhile, in other news.... the infamous bicep pic that you've seen posted here has now gone public! I expect the movie offers will come pouring in any day now!
In the meantime, a milestone passed last weekend without my really even noticing it, much less acknowledging it. This little experiement you're reading right now surpassed 500 hits! To me, at least, that's pretty amazing when you consider that when I began this journey, I never imagined that anyone but me would ever read my rantings! Thanks, all of you, for taking the time to not only read all of this drivel, but to comment on what I've said, either on the blog, or through your emails and IM's.
Since I know many of my friends stop by to check up on what I write, I need to mention a few of them by name. It keeps them coming back!
First, two birthdays in the past week should be acknowledged. I do that only because I find it calming to know other people are aging besides just me! So to Chris and Joe....the best of birthday wishes go out to you!
On a more serious note, Matt, I just want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you right now. I know you're going through some real challenges. IABHFYB. And to everyone reading right now, just say a quick prayer for Matt and his family. The details are not needed. Just do it for me, okay?
Meanwhile, in other news.... the infamous bicep pic that you've seen posted here has now gone public! I expect the movie offers will come pouring in any day now!
The Terri Shiavo debaucle has come to an end with her death. This was such a polarizing issue, that I am tempted, of course, to toss in my two cents worth. But rather than launch into a long diatribe that would have everyone's eyes rolling back in their heads, let me borrow something I read on one of the chat rooms I frequent.
Living will is the best revenge
By ROBERT FRIEDMAN, St. Petersburg Times
Published March 27, 2005
Like many of you, I have been compelled by recent events to prepare a more detailed advance directive dealing with end-of-life issues. Here's what mine says:
- In the event I lapse into a persistent vegetative state, I want medical authorities to resort to extraordinary means to prolong my hellish semi-existence. Fifteen years wouldn't be long enough for me.
- I want my wife and my parents to compound their misery by engaging in a bitter and protracted feud that depletes their emotions and their bank accounts.
- I want my wife to ruin the rest of her life by maintaining an interminable vigil at my bedside. I'd be really jealous if she waited less than a decade to start dating again or otherwise rebuilding a semblance of a normal life.
- I want my case to be turned into a circus by losers and crackpots from around the country who hope to bring meaning to their empty lives by investing the same transient emotion in me that they once reserved for Laci Peterson, Chandra Levy and that little girl who got stuck in awell.
- I want those crackpots to spread vicious lies about my wife.
- I want to be placed in a hospice where protesters can gather to bring further grief and disruption to the lives of dozens of dying patients and families whose stories are sadder than my own.
- I want the people who attach themselves to my case because of their deep devotion to the sanctity of life to make death threats against any judges, elected officials or health care professionals who disagree with them.
- I want the medical geniuses and philosopher kings who populate the Florida Legislature to ignore me for more than a decade and then turn my case into a forum for weeks of politically calculated bloviation.
- I want total strangers - oily politicians, maudlin news anchors, ersatz friars and all other hangers-on - to start calling me "Bobby," as if they had known me since childhood.
- I'm not insisting on this as part of my directive, but it would be nice if Congress passed a "Bobby's Law" that applied only to me and ignored the medical needs of tens of millions of other Americans without adequate health coverage.
- Even if the "Bobby's Law" idea doesn't work out, I want Congress - especially all those self-described conservatives who claim to believe in "less government and more freedom" - to trample on the decisions of doctors, judges and other experts who actually know something about my case. And I want members of Congress to launch into an extended debate that gives them another excuse to avoid pesky issues such as national security and the economy.
- In particular, I want House Majority Leader Tom DeLay to use my case as an opportunity to divert the country's attention from the mounting political and legal troubles stemming from his slimy misbehavior.
- And I want Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist to make a mockery of his Harvard medical degree by misrepresenting the details of my case in ways that might give a boost to his 2008 presidential campaign.
- I want Frist and the rest of the world to judge my medical condition on the basis of a snippet of dated and demeaning videotape that should have remained private.
- Because I think I would retain my sense of humor even in a persistent vegetative state, I'd want President Bush - the same guy who publicly mocked Karla Faye Tucker when signing off on her death warrant as governor of Texas - to claim he was intervening in my case because it is always best "to err on the side of life."
- I want the state Department of Children and Families to step in at the last moment to take responsibility for my well-being, because nothing bad could ever happen to anyone under DCF's care.
- And because Governor Jeb Bush is the smartest and most righteous human being on the face of the Earth, I want any and all of the aforementioned directives to be disregarded if the governor happens to disagree with them. If he says he knows what's best for me, I won't be in any position to argue.
Okay, then. That pretty well sums up how I feel about the issue. Get those Living Wills filled out and signed, my friends! In addition to many online resources, your doctor most likely has the forms available, as well.
Finally, a couple of pictures, which I know you've all come to expect from me.
Hey Joe! You're learning! I'm not sure what...but you're learning!
FINALLY! Something my size!
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