Thursday, May 05, 2005

DUCK!

I'm in one of those smart-ass moods today. Go figure! But rather than unleash a torrent of caustic humor, why not a few real laughs?

CARDS YOU'LL NEVER SEE IN HALLMARK

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:.........
What was I thinking?"

"Congratulations on your wedding day!.............
Too bad no one likes your wife."

"How could two people as beautiful you............
have such an ugly baby?"

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.........
After having met you, I've changed my mind."

"I must admit, you brought religion in my life...........
I never believed in Hell until I met you."

"As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me.
Like the need for therapy..."

"You look great for your age....... Almost Lifelike!"

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.........
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."

"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...............
Did you ever find out who the father was?"

"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."

"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday--------- So we're having you put to sleep."

=====================================================

But on a serious note....

For my friend Joe...
(IAHFYB)
It's strange here without you
And it's so hard to see
So brother up in heaven
Please wait up for me
+
I still see his shadow
His laugh lingers on
When I dream, we're all back together
When I wake, he's gone
+
It's strange here without you
This was not ment to be
So brother up in heaven
Please wait up for me
+
And though we try to change the world
A flower when it's cut will surely die
So why do men with so much hate
Destroy what they cannot create
While we all stand by
+
We will look back in anger
But you helped us to see
So brother up in heaven
Please wait up for me
Oh brother up in heaven
Please wait up for me
(Brother Up In Heaven - Ian Bairnson)

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