Please hand me a tissue...

Just hanging out tonight, catching up on my email. As I mentioned in an earlier post, apparently my reputation for being a big-hearted person is spreading. I know this because the requests for my help seem to be increasing in volume. Many times it's difficult not to shed a heartfelt tear over the plight of some of the people who write to me. This letter I received today is a good case in point.


my dear,
Good day and Compliments, I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly and you would never regret this. I am TONY SIMTH the only son of late former Director of finance, Chief Vincent R.L SIMTH Sierra-Leone diamond and mining corporation. I must confess my agitation is real, and my words is My bond, in this proposal. My late father was the director of finance of Gold and diamond industry in my country, During the disastrous civil war in my country, now he has Deposited the money with a security company in ACCRA-GHANA, where I am Residing under political asylum with my younger sister MARY SIMTH Now the war in my country is over with the help of ECOMOG soldiers, the present government of Sierra Leone has revoked the passport of all officers who Served under the former regime and now ask countries To expel such person at the same time freeze their Account and confiscate their asset, it is on this note that I am contacting you, all I needed from you is to Furnish me with your particulars:
1) House address
2) Telephone number
3)Fax number
4]your full name
For you to assist me transfer this money in your country, The said amount is(fifteen Million Dollars) $15 Million . I am compensating you with 10 % of the total money Amount, now all my hope is banked on you and I really Wants to invest this money in your country, were their Is stability of Government, political and Economic welfare. Honestly I want you to believe that this transaction Is real and never a joke. My late father Chief SIMTH Gave me the photocopies of the certificate of deposit Issued to him by the security company on the day of deposit, for You to be clarify because; I do not expose my self to Anybody I see, I believe that you are able to keep This transaction secret for me because this money is The hope of our life, it is important. Please contact me immediately after you must have gone Through my message feel free and make it urgent. That Is the reason why I offered you 10% of the total? Money amount, and in case of any other necessary Expenses you might incur during this transaction. N.B, Try and negotiate for us some profitable blue chip Investment opportunities which is risk free which I Can invest with this money when it is transferred to Your conutry, personally I am interested in estate Management and hotel business, please advise me. And promise me and my younger sister to be a guardian Considering our situation and not to Betray us.
Thanks and God bless
Best regards
TONY SIMTH

Oh my! The tears are flowing freely now. Please excuse me a moment while I collect myself.

(Laughing hysterically in the background)

There. All better now.

Well, Tony. Once again I'm afraid I must refuse your request for my assistance. It just breaks my heart to do that, my friend. But, if you'll read my earlier post, you'll see that my time is stretched to its limit now and the millions of dollars flow into my bank account. I'd still like to talk to you, though, and offer any comfort and advice you might need. Please call me at (212) 479-7990 any time of the day or night. Please! I so look forward to hearing from you, Tony. Blessings right back at you!

- Jaydog